Imagine living at Avengers Tower where Loki also lives. After the election, you talk about packing your bags and leaving the country. At night Loki appears next to your bed, asking you to stay.
no post has changed me more than this one. every time i get drunk at a bar i need to physically restrain myself from talking about it
It’s ridiculous that so many people still can’t seem to wrap their heads around the fact that not every guy likes girls and not every girl likes guys. It’s not the 20th century anymore. Stop acting like it’s weird.
men in greek mythology? scoundrels. just terrible. woeful social skills. murderers. kidnappers. violent misogynists. most of them… never described as handsome so we have to assume they were ugly.
narcissus? unproblematic. beacon of transformative self love. king of the swerve. gay icon. couldn’t recognize his reflection but neither can my dog, we aren’t holding that against him.
Narcissus wrote this
I refuse to believe Narcissus could read.
i’ve been thinking about this response for the better part of 2 hours and it hasn’t gotten less hysterically funny to me
what really bothers me is that channing tatum may look like a thumb, but he’s a really cool dude. like, he’s openly bi and clearly is obsessed with his family and apparently loves fairies and there was that time he helped stan lee off stage bc he’s a gentleman and his favorite disney character is the sentient broom from fantasia and he’s been outspoken about gender equality and stuff and also his wife is hot as hell
but his fanbase is essentially like 40-60 year old women who are like ‘OOOOOOOH ABS MUSCLES DANCE LIL BITCH’ and it’s created this v specific image of channing tatum in the media when in reality his image should be giant fucken nerd in love w his amazing wife
hello i’d just like to publicly apologise for calling channing tatum a thumb at the beginning of this post it’s been bugging me for days and he doesnt deserve that he’s just out there trying to live his best life
I’ll be forever laughing at this because of how Peter just leans back and tosses the papers aside like “it’s no big deal, it’s just an axe in the chest, I’ve had far worse, literally, I’ve literally had worse, no need to panic, dear nephew, I’ve literally died once, this is just a flesh wound, merely a scratch, be a darling and get me some ice, Derek”
I’m laughing because it’s like a fucking infomercial. It’s just like, “Have you ever been trying to read in the dark when a flying tomahawk comes flying at you and impales you in the chest? Well then, this advertisement is for you!”
Victor ‘I expected a monster I made out of decomposing body parts to be beautiful’ Frankenstein
Victor ‘I hauled ass out of my apartment and walked around my college campus for hours instead of dealing with the monster I gave life to’ Frankenstein
Victor ‘Oh thank god the monster left my apartment while I went out and panicked so it’s not my problem anymore’ Frankenstein
Victor ‘I know that this monster killed my younger brother but if I say anything people will think I’m crazy so no thanks’ Frankenstein
Victor ‘Wow look at those mountains wait is that the creature I made sprinting at me across the ice HOLY FUCK’ Frankenstein
what she means: the words “christmas tree” are used in the hobbit, and since we know that bilbo is the author of the hobbit, hobbits must have christmas which means there must be a middle earth jesus. but hobbits seem to be the only ones who have the concept of christmas which means it was probably a hobbit jesus. but frodo says in return of the king that no hobbit has ever intentionally harmed another hobbit so who crucified hobbit jesus?? were there other hobbit incarnations of religious figures?? was there hobbit moses?? did jrr tolkien even think about this at all??
Wait wait I might actually have an answer
Tolkien wrote The Hobbit like waaaay before he even dreamed up the idea for Lord of the Rings, so when he DID dream up LotR, he had a whole bunch of stuff that didn’t make sense. Like plotholes galore
Like for example in the first version Gollum was a pretty nice dude who lost the riddle contest graciously and gave Bilbo the ring as a legit present and was very helpful and it was super nice and polite and absolutely nobody tried to eat anyone because this is a story for kids and that’s very rude
But that doesn’t work with LotR, so Tolkien went back and re-released an updated version of The Hobbit with all the lore changes and stuff to fix everything that didn’t work
This is the version we know and love today
BUT rather than pretend the early version never existed, Tolkien went and worked the retcon into the lore
If you pay attention in Fellowship, there’s a bit where Gandalf is telling Frodo about the ring and he mentions how Bilbo wasn’t entirely honest about the manner in which it was found
To us modern readers, this doesn’t make a ton of sense, so mostly we just breeze by it–but actually that line is referencing the first version of The Hobbit
The pre-retcon version of the Hobbit is canonically Bilbo’s original book. The original version with Nice Gollum is canonically a lie Bilbo told to legitimize his claim to the ring and absolve him of the guilt he feels for his rather shady behavior
Then the post-retcon version is an in-universe edited edition someone went and released later to straighten out Bilbo’s lies
So it’s 100% plausible that the in-universe editor who fixed up Bilbo’s Red Book and translated it from whatever language Hobbits speak was a human who knew about Christmas Trees and tossed the detail in to make human readers feel more at home, because that’s the kind of thing that sometimes happens when you have a translator editor person dressing up a story for an audience that doesn’t know the exact cultural context in which the original story was written
Tolkien was a medieval scholar and medieval stories are rife with that sort of thing, so like… yeah
Not only all that, but Tolkien was also working within a frame narrative that he wasn’t the real author, but a translator of older manuscripts; so, in-universe, the published The Hobbit isn’t actually Bilbo’s book, but rather Tolkien’s copy of an older copy of an older copy of an older copy of Bilbo’s book. So when errors and anachronisms came up, he would leave them there instead of fixing them, and he may have even put some in intentionally; what we’re supposed to get from the “Christmas tree” bit is that the first scribe to translate the book from Westroni to English couldn’t come up with an accurate analogue for whatever hobbits do at midwinter.
Yes. Another example of tolkien doing this is him using, for instance, Old High Gothic to represent Rohirric – not because the people of Rohan actually spoke that language, but because Old High Gothic had the same relationship with English that Rohirric had with Westron (Which is the Common Language spoken in the West of Middle-Earth). There’s tons of that stuff in the book.
Like, Merry and Pippin’s real names (In Westron) are Kalimac Brandagamba and Razanur Tûk, respectively (to pick just one example of this). Tolkien changed their names in English to names which would give us English-speakers the same kind of feeling as those names would to a Westron-speaker. Lord of the Rings is so much deeper than most readers realise.
tolkein’s entire oevre is just one epic in-joke with the oxford linguistics department imo
backup from Tumblr 