today in ‘i wasn’t actually expecting this, but i really should have expected this’: i do a lot of visa application invites for people for work, and the passport first page for just about every country i’ve seen has clear, black text printed on light/white background with maybe some simple pastel-coloured designs. and for the first almost-three-decades of my life, i was happy in the naive belief that all passports around the world were similar; that one day all countries of the world gathered in Geneva or wherever and formed a Passport Design Committee where they all agreed on the general aesthetics for passports worldwide.
then, about two weeks back, i saw an american passport for the first time, and it straight up has a giant-ass flag, an eagle, a fucking ear of corn, and the first line of the constitution on it, the text is on glaring multicoloured backdrop, and while i was caught off-guard by it, it is also completely in line with its country of origin, and also i feel like this tells me everything i need to know about america as a nation.
the fact that Loki’s death scene in Thor 2 was originally intended to be real & retconned later and the end where he’s alive was filmed during pickups has me SO fucked up because now I can’t choose between which headcanon I prefer re: his behavior in Ragnarok. like listen, okay, either:
1. loki was planning on playing dead the whole time and so his very sad death scene & everything he said therein was a calculated move and he was practically writing the theatrical version of it (starring matt damon as himself) as he went along
OR
2. loki really thought he was dying and every melodramatic word of his death scene was 100% heartfelt and then after he realized he wasn’t dead he fucking… woke up peaced out to go take over asgard (lol?) and several months later he was sitting on the throne and could remember every word of what he said to thor on that day and was like “wow im so fucking poetic. that should be a play. starring matt damon as Me perhaps”
bc of this they opened with a bit making fun of his absence, reading letters he’d *supposedly* sent to each of them, some of which he talked about supporting trump/the gop 🤔 and asked melissa for $500…(all jokes ofc)
next the cast performed 2 scenes (in character) written by chelsea peretti
the first one was promoting chelseaperetti.com and all the characters were super one dimensional. notable quotes include:
“I LOVE JAKE…AND FOOD…SEASON 1″ (charles)
“I LOVE TO DANCE…SEASON 1″ (gina)
“i love chelseaperetti.com. there are only 3 other things i love in life: guns, dick, and pussy.” (rosa)
jake and amy exit walking COMPLETELY IN SYNC, EACH STEP SYNCHRONIZED.
the second one had the cast SWEARING EVERY 5 SECONDS since they can do bleeps and blurs now on nbc. notable quotes include:
“HELL FUCKING YEAH” (rosa and amy in sync)
“NINE-NINE, ASSHOLES!!!” (terry)
then they got a REAL writer on stage: phil jackson
he had them perform a scene that he said was ~CURRENTLY IN THE WORKS IN THE WRITER’S ROOM FOR THE S6 FINALE~
spoiler: the scene took place in the deep south circa 1928. charles found out from the doctor that he was apparently dying…as did terry, rosa, amy, and gina. scully revealed he was already dead. jake just wanted to solve the big crime but then HITCHCOCK REVEALED: HE is actually the doctor and he POISONED the other characters, bc he’s actually JAKE’S FATHER!!!
(none of this is canon obvi but i highkey wish it was lkdfnsblnkbfds)
afterward, they opened it up to audience q&a which i only remember a few highlights from:
someone asked what big crimes their characters would most want to solve. chelsea peretti said “disband ice”
5 seconds later, she asked, “WHEN WILL A WHITE GIRL COME UP AND TELL ME I’M HER HERO????” (since mel and steph always get latinx ppl saying they’re their heroes lndfsbljnblfdsn)
andy: “i’m glad you said that AFTER the ice thing”
someone asked what tv show the cast would want their characters to appear on an episode of
steph said the bachlorette
andy said queer eye
melissa couldn’t think of one so she initially just piggybacked off of andy since amy would be with jake on queer eye. andy asked what one of her favorite tv shows was. melissa said game of thrones.
SO EVERYONE NOW IMAGINE: AMY SANTIAGO ON GAME OF THRONES
someone pointed out a similarity in one of amy’s lines in 202 and a line from a song in hamilton….andy freaked out, “WE WROTE HAMILTON!!!!!!!!!!!”
someone asked andy if he actually loves boats. he revealed he actually gets nauseous on boats
the cast revealed some running gags they have behind the scenes
andy will walk around set with his script pretending to be a dumb actor
when they get stuck doing 1000000 takes for the same scene over and over, they’ll start saying “CAW-CAW” and/or flapping their arms like bird wings to indicate that they wish to cut and move on (bc only the director calls “cut-cut”). andre even does it, sometimes just wordlessly flapping his arms
whenever chelsea and terry have to act in the bg of a scene (basically go through some wordless motions) terry will kinda try to make it look real, pretending to hand chelsea something for gina to look at or whatever, but chelsea will just slyly flip him off and mouth “FUCK YOU” to him over and over
THE CAST DOES A LOT OF IMPROV THAT DOESN’T MAKE THE FINAL CUT!
in “stakeout”, andy and joe would come out of terry’s duffel bag and flap their arms like butterflies to be like butterflies emerging from a cocoon
some “17″ odd times, andy and joe have done a “flu season high-five” where they go in for a high-five, then stop before their hands touch to prevent spreading germs. this has yet to make the final cut lndsbflkndfb
in the jimmy jab games ep, andy and mel did a long improv bit on the roof of the precinct when andy had the fake pregnancy belly on and said it was amy’s baby
terry laughed so hard watching “halloveen” when jake and amy woke up in the middle of the night and holt was in their bedroom; he rewound and rewatched the scene a few times bc it was so funny to him
chelsea peretti had to go pee RLY BAD. she kept making jokes about it (”what other show would you want your character to be on?” “ONE WHERE SHE GOES PEE!!!!”) and andy was just like “YOU ORGANIZED THIS SHOW” and she just gave up and got up and was like “nO ONE TALK BAD ABOUT ME WHILE I’M GONE” and just. fuckin took a bathroom break in the middle of her own benefit show
she came back from the bathroom with toilet paper hanging out of her pants btw
mel talked for a bit about how rare it is for a cast to click as well and as quickly as the b99 squad; she knew she’d found something special when she started working on the show, but knew it was up in the air whether or not tv viewers would be able to feel that “special-ness” through watching the show. when the show was canceled and the internet lost its mind and threw a 24-hour long temper tantrum, she texted dan basically saying OMG PPL CAN FEEL THE SPECIALNESS IN OUR SHOW THAT I THOUGHT ONLY WE COULD FEEL BUT THE VIEWERS CAN FEEL IT TOO
someone asked if dirk and joel are as close as scully and hitchcock. mel said they carpool to table reads together sometimes!!!
andy started to look tired toward the end. chelsea said it was past his bedtime
someone asked what future plots the cast would want for their characters. steph wants to play rosa’s evil twin who’s basically the polar opposite of rosa but is the evil twin.
cue chelsea: “ROSA IS THE NICE ONE????”
chelsea closed out the night with, “go reunite with your families!!!” and everyone groaned
chelsea lost her mind at these 2 sisters in the audience named hansel and gretel
As it turns out, this is more like a halfway house. Prisoners usually begin their term in a prison more like one we’d typically recognize – bars on the windows, locked in their cells. But the emphasis there is on successful reintegration into society.
As their sentence progresses, with good behavior, they can move into a facility more like this, where their freedoms are still restricted, but they can do things like network with people outside of prison, search for employment, cook and clean and look after themselves, and begin making plans for their reintegration into society.
As a result, Norway has one of the lowest rates of recidisvism. 20% as opposed to America’s 76%.
It seems like a shocking idea to us because of where and how we live, but apparently, Norwegians are addressing the real problem. When you take people who can’t function well in society, and then…help them do that?…they….do. Without the crime-ing.
Turns out treating people like human beings makes them more likely to act like human beings….
But won’t that incentivize some people to go back there since they get treated so well and get a nice room versus the streets?
If you read the post above, it says Norway’s recidivism rate – that is, the rate of released criminals who go on to be arrested again – is 20% versus 76% in the United States, so for the most part, no.
Isn’t that white-lined black cross on a red field flag a Nazi flag? Are we going to talk about how wonderful it is a Nazi gets a nice halfway house?
backup from Tumblr 