after extensive research and messages from many americans i present this 100% factual guide. is this the only animal that isn’t more horrifying in australia?! i still wanna own 600 opossums
This person has never been stalked through the Brisbane Botanic Gardens by a gang of possums thinking you might have food
Clearly this person also does not live in a house with a tin roof.
– Did you hear that possum last night?
– WHAT? SORRY, I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THE NEVER-ENDING BARRAGE OF NOISE OF RAMPAGING POSSUMS.
And they scream and fight. I had two living in my roof that would regularly wake me in the middle of the night by running around 11 feet above my bed, and then screaming and hissing at one another.
They’re still not that bad in comparison to most of our other creatures, but they’re not quiet.
And, they do not always stay in the roof…
Exhibit A: My living room, at about 3 a.m. one time.
The stressed and defensive “MaTE! I didn’t do anything wrong.”
The channel 73 “MAAAAAAAAAATE!”
Calling out for your friend “oi MATE!”
The haha funny joke fuck off “oi nah get fucked mate”
The I’m dead fucking serious “Mate.”
The complementary oh you sick mother fucker “Maaaate!”
Addressing a group of people “mates”
The snicker at your biology teacher every time they say “they mate”
The aggressive you just spilled my fucking tea, apologise “MATE!”
The concerned with your hilarious but drunk behaviour “you alright, mate?”
The at Bondi beach and your friend is downing so you need a lifesaver “mate ;-;”
The you just ate the last Tim Tam, run “mmmmaaaaate.”
The casual greeting “hay mate, howyagoin’?”
The expression of holy fuck look at this “maaaaaaate”
The I’m not an Australian, but my Australian friend has lost their friend so now I’m going to make an awful joke that only makes sense to non-Australians “I guess you can’t find your mate”
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