eucalyptus trees are full of flammable oil that causes the trees to explode during forest fires, killing other trees and spreading its seeds to grow in their place. koalas survive solely because nothing else in their environment Wants To Eat The Fucking Bombs
oh u like that? try this one: the main natural cause of death in koalas is starvation, because
1) their dumbass teeth are SHIT. to be a herbivore and chomp cellulose all day u need some real tough grinders in there, and almost every other herbivore in nature has SOME sort of dental adaptation to make sure they dont run out of tooth by the time they hit middle age. horses have big tall teeth, wombat teeth grow forever, kangaroos have got a little conveyor belt system goin on, etc etc everyoneās doin SOMETHING except fuckign koalas. idiots have tiny fuckin shortass normal teeth that do an okay job for maybe like 15 years and then wear down and leave them with ridiculous fuckin useless old man gums that do shit all. but thats fine bc all koalas do anyway is sit in trees and sleep 22hrs a day then wake up and scream and eat poison and they do this all day every day until they run out of teeth at which point they just fall out of the tree and die
2) idiots canāt die any other fuckin way bc nothing in nature wants to eat them bc their bodies are chocker block with LITERAL poison. fuckin USELESS their flesh just sits around and slowly rots bc its too gross-tasting and toxic for any animal w half a brain cell to think abt going near it. have yall ever seen koala viscera. bc i have and let me tell u that shit is RANK. looks like the inside of a smokerās lung from some fuckdamn nicabate ad bc the tannins in eucalypt leaves stain their organs like khaki black. like some fuckin dark!steve irwin costume well better piss ur way right off from this one anti-steve bc thats a natural defense mechanism meant to warn u that koalas should in no way be alive and if u touch them theyll drag u into their stupid evolutionary dead-end where they get to sit around all day doin fuck all and pumpin themselves full of brain-killing poison while we run around makin them our olympic games mascots and pretending theyre cute and honest to god looking for ways to save them from the brink of extinction which actually is unnecessary bc a) theyre not really endangered at all, nature is a fuckign miracle and b) the drongos clearly want to die so i say let em
by the way i never elaborated onĀ ākoalas sit in trees all day screamingā but heres a lil fuckin. heres a fun nugget heres a lil soundbyte this is what koalas sound likeĀ
My favorite story about Koalas comes from the bookĀ āThe Killer Koala: Humorous Australian Bush Storiesā By Kenneth Cook, which is an excellently good book with some A+ storytelling. he describes the KoalaāsĀ āAnti-Dingo Defenseā, wherein they latch on to the belly of the dingo to slow down the rate at which they are being consumed alive by starving canid, gradually trn themselves around until theyāve got thier head in the Dingoās crotch, and then procede to BITE THE SHIT out of the Dingoās Tender Bits, whilst clowing at the ribs and projectile-evacuating thier bowels,
Mr. Cook found out about the Anti-Dingo Defense beause he was tricked intoĀ ārescuingā a bunch of koalas off an island by the promise of a Hot Date with a young lady, wondered why they were all being given armored aprons to handle the koalas with, only to find out firsthand, which pretty much ruined his prospects of a date.
I know weāre all suffering over Infinity War or whatever, but you know what my major takeaway was re: Steve and Bucky? Itās that Bucky has been awake for a while and Steve has been visiting Wakanda on a regular basis. Iām fully serious about this; Iām not attempting toĀ āfixā a problem with canon by making a fluffy headcanon. This is the first blush impression I got from the movie, and the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. Why?
We joke about SteveāsĀ ādepression beardā a lot, but actually, Steve looks really good in this movie. That guy has been eating a lot of fruit, moisturizing, and getting his beauty sleep. Bucky also looks shockingly healthy and relaxed compared to the last time we saw him. They both seem to be physically and mentally healthier, which doesnāt point to Bucky being freshly de-iced and still processing the worst of his shit. It also doesnāt point to Steve working himself to death and being forcibly separated from his best friend.
Steve seems to have a friendly and relatively informal relationship with TāChalla, which suggests to me that theyāve spent some time together. The other Avengers donāt appear to be very familiar with Wakanda, but Steve knows exactly where heās going and what heās doing.Ā
On top of that, the Avengers seem to have more than adequate funding and appear to be working, but they no longer have the backing of the US government or Stark Industries. Where did they get the resources to do this? Where are their missions coming from? Sure, theyāre likely doing their own supervillain hunting and probably some residual Hydra mop-up, but Iām guessing theyāre being bankrolled by TāChalla and probably doing a fair bit of collaborative work with Wakandan intelligence. Steve would feel the need to repay TāChallaās kindness, but what do you get the man who has everything? If youāre Steve, probably loyalty and black ops missions.
When Steve and Bucky greet each other, it feels warm, but also routine, suggesting that this isnāt their first contact since Civil War. This is a greeting youād expect between two people who last saw each other maybe one or two weeks ago and text each other pictures of what they ate for lunch, not two people who have a lot of unresolved shit and havenāt spoken in years. The tension and sadness you see at the end of Civil War is absent in Infinity War.
Finally, the relationship between Wanda and Vision establishes that itās possible for Avengers to go off alone for a day or two without any significant notice or concern from the others. Clearly itās not unheard of for them to take short breaks to do personal stuff.
My take on all this? Buckyās been up and about for a fairly long time, doing some Wholesome Farm Labor, babysitting some Charming Wakandan Children, and generally getting better. Steve and the Avengers have been running whatever missions come up, and when thereās a break in the action, Steve comes to Wakanda, says hi to TāChalla, and spends a day or two with Bucky. Maybe he takes the opportunity to finally get a full 8 hours of sleep in Buckyās little hut. Iām just saying; they both look way less tired in this movie. Those are the faces of people who have taken some quality naps together.Ā
So everybodyās healthier and happier than expected! Thanks for coming to my TED talk.
god i love anti steve content bc i cant even be mad at it bc it lit sounds like stan content its all likeĀ āsteve rogers betrayed his country and committed treason all for some dickā like yes he did thats my baby and im proud of his anti american gay assĀ
u ever talk to those men that make u feel like u involuntarily logged into 4chan
i love this post because a) itās v real and b) op is innocent enough not to know that you donāt have to log into 4chan. this post is blessed. like to charge. reblog to cast
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