1) Pippin professes atheism, argues so persuasively he somehow manages to get GANDALF to second guess himself for a split second
2) “what if we put the Ring in a catapult & launched it into Mount Doom from a distance”: dismissed as a serious plan very quickly due to high margin for error but the argument simmers for several days as Gandalf refuses to concede that it would work in theory. (Pippin also started this one.)
3) Who Started It: Legolas or Gimli edition
4) Who Started It: Merry or Pippin edition
5) Who ate the last *insert food item here* I know it was one of your four FESS UP (one time it was actually Gandalf, he never fessed up)
6) Legolas is mad at Gimli but whenever anyone asks why he just says ‘the dwarf knows what he did’ (Gimli hasn’t a clue)
Somebody made Sam cry one (1) time early on & after that every time he cries the entire company starts slinging accusations like there’s no tomorrow
Further thoughts:
1) although Pippin started the catapult argument the ppl who keep it going are Frodo and Boromir (both of whom were momentarily 100% down with it until they realised what a horrible idea it would be in practice, ie miss & the Ring is just lying about in Mordor for any orc to grab)
it’s all fun and games till one of the hobbits calls beards ‘unsightly’ and Gimi shoots back ‘that’s a bit rich coming from someone with that much fOOT HAIR’ and after that it is fucking ON and once the dust settles certain people don’t speak to certain other people for like 3 days
Sam: *bursts into tears because idk he just does that sometimes*
Frodo: For fuck’s sake Sam just yesterday you were crying about snakes.
Sam, bawling: They don’t have any arms Mr. Frodo!
Pippin: isn’t a dragon a snake with arms
Sam: *thinks about that for a moment*
Sam: *bursts into tears all over again*
Frodo: sam please
If you think about it the Fellowship is basically just a road trip without the car.
… Having said that, I need a LOTR Road Trip AU where it’s the nine of them packed into a 1971 Ford Bronco, trying to get to Washington DC with the One Ring which is proof that President Sauron is guilty of High Crimes and Misdemeanors, while being chased by this biker gang in Sauron’s employ, hunted by corrupt Sheriff Saruman (Gandalf’s old high school classmate), and at some point in time losing the Ring to the monkey in a diaper that they found wandering around a shopping mall in Cleveland, Ohio and Frodo insisted on adopting.
Did someone mention a catapult?
(Heads-up: There is a bit of non-PC language here and there)
i cant believe its daylight savings time and i havent seen the “hello its me your cousin oskaar from iceland” video on my dash yet you are all slackers
i guess i have to do all the work around here dont i
Throwback to the time my poor German teacher had to explain the concept of formal and informal pronouns to a class full of Australians and everyone was scandalised and loudly complained “why can’t I treat everyone the same?” “I don’t want to be a Sie!” “but being friendly is respectful!” “wouldn’t using ‘du’ just show I like them?” until one guy conceded “I suppose maybe I’d use Sie with someone like the prime minister, if he weren’t such a cunt” and my teacher ended up with her head in her hands saying “you are all banned from using du until I can trust you”
God help Japanese teachers in Australia.
if this isnt an accurate representation of australia idk what is
Australia’s reverse-formality respect culture is fascinating. We don’t even really think about it until we try to communicate or learn about another culture and the rules that are pretty standard for most of the world just feel so wrong. I went to America this one time and I kept automatically thinking that strangers using ‘sir’ and ‘ma’am’ were sassing me.
Australians could not be trusted with a language with ingrained tiers of formal address. The most formal forms would immediately become synonyms for ‘go fuck yourself’ and if you weren’t using the most informal version possible within three sentences of meeting someone they’d take it to mean you hated them.
100% true.
the difference between “‘scuse me” and “excuse me” is a fistfight
See also: the Australian habit of insulting people by way of showing affection, which other English-speakers also do, but not in a context where deescalating the spoken invective actively increases the degree of offence intended, particularly if you’ve just been affectionately-insulting with someone else.
By which I mean: if you’ve just called your best mate an absolute dickhead, you can’t then call a hated politician something that’s (technically) worse, like a total fuckwit, because that would imply either that you were really insulting your mate or that you like the politician. Instead, you have to use a milder epithet, like bastard, to convey your seething hatred for the second person. But if your opening conversational gambit is slagging someone off, then it’s acceptable to go big (”The PM’s a total cockstain!”) at the outset.
Also note that different modifiers radically change the meaning of particular insults. Case in point: calling someone a fuckin’ cunt is a deadly insult, calling someone a mad cunt is a compliment, and calling someone a fuckin’ mad cunt means you’re literally in awe of them. Because STRAYA.
I just read news about how john murphy is going to make the score for bbc les mis and you know what, considering how many goddamn times in press releases and interviews they’ve stated, again and again, that their version ~has no songs~, even if there’s statistically more adaptations of les mis without songs that there are with them, I was kind of expecting them to be petty enough to have no music whatsoever in the entire thing, with that attitude. Let valjean and javert stare at each other in a long, awkward silence while jvj is holding the almost-corpse of marius in his arms drenched in sewer crap, as vhugs intended, then.
NO SCORE JUST AWKWARD ELEVATOR MUSIC
set the entire awkward carriage ride to a Muzak version of “Girl From Ipanema”
When I walk into the mall and see Christmas decorations up the day after Halloween, I feel the same way Hamlet did when his mom married his annoying uncle so shortly after his father’s death.
Thrift, thrift, Horatio! the Halloween Mars Bars/Did coldly furnish forth the Christmas stockings
Sometimes I’ll want to write characters sitting down for a lavish meal only to remember that I have… very little understanding of food. I have always had a rather limited palate, so my concept of what people might have at a delectable feast is like… raw fruit, some mushrooms, buttered bread… some, uh, salmon…?
People often seem to like sauces. There are probably sauces at a feast.
backup from Tumblr 