abreathofsnowandashes:

notable-spinster:

men have such profound cognitive dissonance when it comes to rape. like when I was young my dad didn’t want me hanging out with guys because knew “what teenage boys are like” and didn’t trust them with me, but he’s a conservative who thinks feminists are crazy because “not all men” are bad. 

men will call women paranoid and resent us for treating men as if they might become dangerous, but if we do get hurt, they’ll turn around and blame us for being stupid and naive. 

like, if I don’t go home with a guy because he might be dangerous, I’m sexist and unfairly generalizing men as violent. if I do go and something happens, it’s my fault putting myself in a dangerous position. men know that they are a danger to us, but they don’t want us to know—except their daughters. 

I used to volunteer at the local Rape Crisis Centre, I also had to study the data on rape for my masters, and across the world, 90+% of rape against women is perpetrated by men they know and within 1 mile of their home. The idea of the creep hiding down the end of an alley and or in the bushes is much, much less common, and is so overplayed that to me it is used as a decoy of sorts. So women don’t suspect their cousin or the guy they are in a group project with. 

Of that 90+% 70% is committed by a male family member. Which goes a very long way of explaining why people struggle to come forward. So often we hear men say that those who commit sexual assault are “boys” or “creeps” or some other  word to let us know it has nothing to do with them. They would never rape you. But they would. Boyfriends, brothers, uncles, fathers, cousins, family friends, coworkers, school mates, friends, acquaintances… that’s who make up the 90+%.