grace-and-ace:

fabbittle:

momnar:

roachpatrol:

one of the nice things about heterosexuals i never see talked about on here is that they haven’t already heard all your gay jokes yet. i just really appreciate having a new audience sometimes for my completely automatic responses to phrases like ‘i’ll be straight with you’. so, shoutout to all the innocent hets out there who have a genuine giggle over lame quips that a fellow queer would groan and hit me for. ilu guys. 

I recently no scoped my coworker when she asked me “What’s in the closet, anyway?” and I automatically said “me”. She lost her mind. Full cackling in the middle of the store. I never thought I’d see the day that joke would work but here I was, blessed with an unexperienced heterosexual. It was transcendent. 

one time i had to go to the utility closet at work to refill my waterbottle and i said “alright im going into the closet…just like high school” and my straight coworker lost it. she started crying she was laughing so hard

This is always the best. Doubly so because literally nobody knows ace jokes