The Signs As Things Shane Madej Has Said

Aries: I took an improv comedy class once. Because I’m a white guy.
Taurus: I’m sad and kinda delirious.
Gemini: If you want to eat Ryans’ heart, turn the light on.
Cancer: Hey there demons, it’s me ya boi.
Leo: Hey ghouls, the boys are here!
Virgo: *laying on a pentagram* Rock and Roll buckaroo!
Libra: Hey you demon fuck!
Scorpio: I think Ben Franklin might have been involved in some weird sex parties.
Sagittarius: It’s a nice sunset, enjoy it Ryan, it’s the last one you’re ever going to see.
Capricorn: It’s like Satan’s cement butthole.
Aquarius: Time’s a tickin, show up and murder us.
Pisces: I stole your gold and your wife.